Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Gratitude

I have been reflecting deep within myself on this last year for the past few days and I am really grateful for everything I have. We have come pretty far from where we were just a year ago and my heart is full of gratitude to my Heavenly Father. We have been blessed immensely through family and friends and the gospel and we are just so grateful. I have really been loving life. There are many ups and sometimes it seems even more downs but it all strengthens us and helps us to see the bigger perspective. I often let all the little things and big things get to me and at times that causes the feeling of desperation and a lack of faith. I have felt my lack of faith many times this last year and Daniel has been there to pick up the slack and in just a small amount of time it is restored. I am so grateful for the strength he brings to our family.

On Sunday I felt inspired to bare my testimony. This does not happen often. I usually sit there and take care of the kids and don't even look inside myself to see if the spirit is prodding me to get up ( a horrible habit I know ). I noticed hardly anyone getting up and it made me realize that everyone is probably having a rough time and that they just weren't feeling it (this is how I was feeling). Christmas time brings much joy but can often bring feelings of sadness, regret, nostalgia and even loneliness. So I got up, I didn't think I would uplift anyone I just knew that getting up would uplift my spirits which was what I needed. When I sat back down I felt an overpowering feeling that I am not perfect and its ok that I am not. I do not bare a perfect testimony, I don't tell funny stories or horrible stories or stories that make you cry but I shared my testimony with everyone in the room and most importantly with myself. The feeling that I am imperfect gave me great comfort. I get so overwhelmed with all the things I feel I should be accomplishing and I am not and it pulls me down and makes me feel as though I am not good enough and constantly falling short.

I was reminded that I am not perfect, non of us is perfect but this life is the time to strive for that. But the perfection we are striving for is so that we can be with our families eternally. I kept telling myself perfection was getting my to do lists all accomplished, trying to keep up with everyone in the world. Sunday made me re-realized that I need to live in the world not of the world. I need to trust Heavenly Father with my short comings. I feel good and I wanted to share the feeling.

Merry Christmas,

5 comments:

Matt and Suzanne said...

That's so awesome Miriam, thanks for sharing that. I love how honest you are with your feelings! I feel that way so much of the time, and it helps to know that I am not alone. I'm so glad that you married someone who brings you so much strength. Thanks for your example of reaching out to others, I just think you are the greatest! :)

Brittany said...

That is so awesome that you got up on Sunday, Good for you! I don't think I have ever barred my testimony! :( I am just a shy keep to my self person and an not good at public speaking! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings!

Wiley Family said...

Thanks for sharing. So inspirational and great to here Daniel's doing a great job hahahaha. It's such a blessing to have a good man for a husband.

Matt and Suzanne said...

Yes, it's seriously just gorilla glue and the wood. I just had them cut the top and the bottom pieces longer because (lowes at least) will not cut a diagonal for you- just straight. So unless you have the equiptment, you'll have to do it that way. I'm not sure about home depot though, you could check. I would also price check, just to see who's cheaper. Let me know how they turn out! Oh and they will also cut glass for you. The guy there told me I could just glue them in and I think it would work, although I just went without the glass and they still look GREAT! (sometimes the glass creates a glare, so i almost prefer it the way i did it) Just preference. Good luck! Let me know if you have any more ?'s!

MoBo said...

Thanks for sharing Miriam, this is a wonderful post. Made me feel good, and open my eyes, and wake up, and strive for better, and all that jazz. I'm often falling into the dirty puddle of worldly things and forgetting that there is more to this sometimes icky and tiresome existence. I sometimes with I could paste those mormonads to my glasses, so I can have a more constant reminder hahahah But I must better guard my thoughts hahah Thanks